Surviving the First Few Weeks as a New Mom

Congrats mamma, you birthed a precious baby into the world and your life will forever be changed.

First-time mamma here who had a great pregnancy and easy birth but the postpartum phase was still a shocker. Really there is not enough reading, studying, chatting with your friends, and family that you can do to prepare for what will happen when you bring that bundle of joy home. Even after reading this article, where I will share my tips, you will still not feel fully prepared for motherhood.

Going into my 4th week as a new mother, here are my tips for newborn mothers to survive the first few weeks.

1) Have a Postpartum Plan

You probably created a birth plan like I did and laid out how you want your birth to go and shared it with your birth team. But, have you created a postpartum plan? Luckily, a friend of mine suggested I write out a postpartum plan and my doula had one readily available. Postpartum plans are a lifesaver and very similar to a birth plan. Its a guideline of your expectations for your sacred window.

Not sure what to have in your postpartum plan? Here are some areas to think about.

• Who is available to help you rest?

• Do you have a group of friends, neighbors, family members who are parents to young babies?

• Are there local and online support groups for moms? (Hint....we offer a great one for mompreneurs)

• What is your postpartum meal plan (more on this later) and who will prepare the meals for you?

• Who supports your breastfeeding and can cheer you on?

• List of Lactation consultants in case you need them along with a list of lactation resources.

• Postpartum doulas (great for single moms or where you need extra support)

• Support for older children. Who will spend quality time with your older children as you care for your newborn?

• List of friends and family willing to provide occasional childcare.

• Local childcare providers.

• Self-care activities for mommy and daddy (more on this later)

2) Post Partum Meal plan

Mamma, you birthed a human being into this world and that takes a lot of energy out of you. You by no means should have to cook and clean for the first few weeks postpartum. Nutrition and hydration are not only necessary for your recovery but also to help you produce milk. So take the time now to prep and ask others to prepare your meals. I created my own postpartum meal plan as part of my Ayurvedic Doula studies. If you need help creating your own or would like me to create a custom one for your needs, feel free to reach out to me at stephanie@stephanielopezgilmore.com

3) Catch up on your sleep.

Get as much sleep as possible while in the hospital. The nurses are there to care and tend for your baby while you are resting between feedings. Use that time wisely and rest/ sleep because that might be the last time you get ample rest for the next year of your child's life. There is something about the adrenaline that kicks at the moment you birth. I birthed Noah at 11:57 pm and around 1 am the next day I tried to get some sleep. It was not easy because your body is rushing with all these hormones and your maternal instincts kick in. You begin to wake up with every small noise they make. Luckily, the first night your baby will sleep well, so take advantage of that. After that, you are up every 2 hours feeding that little human and you can kiss your lovely sleep goodbye.

I caught up on my sleep a few ways.

• My husband, mother, and I took shifts. Although I was the main one feeding Noah (breastfeeding), I would hand him off to my husband or mother to rock him back to sleep or stay up. with him when he was wide awake therefore I could get more rest. We took sifts and would agree on times to stay up with him. My shifts where 11-1, my husband was 2-4 and my mom was 6-8.

• Sleep when the baby sleeps. Yeah, you heard this a million times, but seriously mamma, sleep when the baby sleeps. This is not the time to be productive, run errands, do work, or any of that stuff. If you are tired mid-day then by all means rest. I had a hard time sleeping in the middle of the day with the bright sun shining in my room. After a few restless nights, that sun and noise of the day did not bother me. My friends would tell me " You do not look like you just had a baby, you look so restful." My trick....napping midday.

4) Use a heating pad.

The heating pad is not for you, although you might need it for your sore muscles. It's for the baby. Hear me out, I read this trick on another blog and It works. When I am changing and feeding Noah, I have a heating pad in his bassinette keeping it nice and warm (low setting). Before I lay him down to sleep I remove the pad and place him in the warm bassinette. Babies do not like going from your warm body to a cold bed. This trick saved my sanity at night and mamma I am passing it along to you so you can reap its benefits.

5) Schedule in Self Care

You are a new mom dealing with sleepless nights, fussy baby, and if you are like me you might forget the day and time. It can be stressful, lets face it, you have a little human who is dependent on you. Gone are the days of partying late at night, sleeping in, and spending the day at the spa. So, if you can't spend a day or weekend at the spa, how else can you get the much-needed self-care. Remember, these postpartum days are for healing and resting so find time every day to do one thing for YOU. For me it was meditation, showering, and going for a walk with Noah and my husband. I would toss in the occasional at-home facial, nail appointment with my friends, brunch with the girls, Netflix, and of course a healing bath (which makes me want to hop into one as I type this).

6) Get a baby tracker

If you are like me and you tracked your cycle, your pregnancy, now its time to track your baby. Olivia is my go-to tracker. I used it for my cycle, my pregnancy, and now to track my baby's feedings, diaper changes, sleep, and more. It's free and you can even track milestones and baby's development.

7) Get SUPPORT

Honey, please for your sanity, get Support ASAP. Now is not the time to be superwomen and do it all on your own, even if you are a single mother. Get support and do not pass up an offer for someone to care for your kid (even during COVID I do not pass up these offers and only ask that they quarantine themselves before and wear masks while caring for Noah.) My mother and husband are my daily support system, my friends are there for me to call and chat with or go out with so I can feel somewhat normal again, and my inlaws and other family members are there when I need food, childcare and more. I have no shame in having someone watch Noah while I sleep or get out of the house. I have no shame in asking someone to pick up diapers before they come to visit or to grab my favorite food on the way over. Ask for help, get help, and do not feel guilty about it. This is YOUR Sacred Window, honor it.

8) Salt Lamps and White Noise

OMG, these are freaking lifesavers at night. I didn't want to invest in some fancy night light when I had a ton of salt lamps around my house. I use the one with dimmers on it to light up where Noah sleeps and where I change his diapers. This lets me see what I am doing without fully waking him up. The white noises come from Alexa. Yeah, we have gifted the cute white noise machines for his nursery but until he is older, Noah is sleeping in our room in a bassinet. So Alexa does the trick, we use the white noise or rainforest sounds to lull him to sleep, and honestly to lull me to sleep.

9) Use the onesie flaps for blowouts.

Did you know that those cute little flaps on the shoulders are to help pull the onesie down during blowouts? And trust me, babies are going to have a ton of blowouts. No need to pull the onesie over your baby's head when you can simply pull it down, easier to clean, and less fuss from your little one. simply fold the flaps down over the shoulders and down the arms and legs to take off that onesie.

10) Invest in a Swaddle Wrap

I tried swaddling the baby in the blankets a few times before I said the heck with it and got the swaddle wraps. There are a ton out there and hindsight I would prefer to have one where I could simply unzip his legs out of it for night time changes. He hates being completely naked to change his diaper and the ones with the zipper at the bottom help with quick changes without completely waking him up. I also like the nest wraps, it is weighted and mimics him being held. These are great the only downside is he would overheat in them due to being born in the summer.

11) Books are resources

Ladies, if you are anything like my husband and me, you probably read all the books and taken courses on birthing and about the first year of being a new parent. They are great resources, they have a ton of helpful information. But just like your pregnancy and birth are all unique so is raising your baby. Books are resources which means they are not the golden rule book. My husband was against pumping, bottle feeding, and pacifiers until Noah turned 1 month old. I was going insane with Noah using my to pacify so I decided to use a pacifier and pump before 4 weeks were up. The books tell you to not use them until the baby turned a month old to avoid "nipple confusion." For my sanity and sleep, I said the heck with the books, I am doing what is best for me and Noah and used the pacifier to help him sleep at night. Guess what....it worked and now my husband is fully on board. Ladies, do what is best for you and your baby.

12) Give yourself Grace

This tip comes from the midwife at the hospital. She told me to give myself grace and I remind myself of it often. Babies are not easy, even my little one who is a pretty good baby has his fussy moments. No matter what I do he is still fussy at times and my mind can go down the rabbit hole of not being a good mother. So I remind myself to give myself some Grace, that things are not easy and that is ok, that its ok to cry, and it's ok to mess up. That Noah will still love me even if I am not perfect and that in the end, it's ok to give mommy some time to herself so she can recharge and be the best mother that she can be. So ladies, give yourself some Grace.